I cringe when thinking about having to negotiate. I’m not talking about the type of negotiating involving my 10-year-old son and asking him for a few french fries in exchange for a sip of my milkshake. No, I’m referring to say having to negotiate buying a house, a car, or even a salary for a new job. I can’t really put my finger on why I have been such a poor negotiator, but I think it may have something to do with feeling like I am inconveniencing or upsetting the other party. For whatever reason, I would rather sacrifice a little than go through an agonizing and tense negotiation process. Glick and Croson mention how we have a reputation whether we know it or not (Hoch, Kunreuther, & Gunther, 2001). While I don’t think my reputation for negotiating is a hot topic of conversation, my guess is that most people would peg me as the nice guy willing to make concessions and be reasonable.
I see myself as an honest person who has no reason to lie or deceive. However, “deception of some kind is an inherent part of human interaction” (Hoch, et al., 2001, p. 189). Such was the case when I wanted to hire someone to build a fence in my backyard. I scheduled a few companies to come to my house and give me a quote. I preferred one builder over the others because he was friendly, seemed knowledgeable, showed me pictures of his work, and had references. We negotiated a price and his only stipulation was for me to pay half up front and then the other half upon completion. I pride myself on being a good judge of character and had no issue or reason not to trust him. I paid him $600 and never heard from him again despite my repeated phone calls and messages. I pursued legal options only to find out it would cost more to sue than what he stole from me and even if I wanted to sue I couldn’t because he had all his possessions in his children’s names. I was definitely deceived and the loser in that negotiation.
To varying degrees, deception tends to be involved in the negotiation process. A negotiator may tell lies of omission in which they leave out important information or they may tell lies of commission by blatantly presenting false information. The simple reason people use deception during a negotiation is to get what they want. For example, my friend may ask me to come over to give him a hand with something and maybe have a couple beers and watch some football in the process. When it comes time to tell my wife, I mean ask my wife to go help a friend in need, I may overstate how important it is for me to help him. Additionally, I may also omit the parts about drinking beer and watching football. Yet, if my wife asks questions, I always tell the truth. Sometimes she doesn’t ask questions and I visit my friend and sometimes she asks questions and I’m staying home helping with things around the house.
Sometimes people justify deception as a defense mechanism to protect themselves from being taken advantage of or distort information if it is unknown. Nonetheless, there are ways to reduce being vulnerable to deception during negotiations. For starters, consider the setting in which the negotiation takes place. One may be more likely to attempt deception if they can hide behind a telephone or email versus being face-to-face. The likelihood of deception during a face-to-face negotiation is completely eradicated, but nonverbal cues become more evident during this type of negotiation setting. Another example to defend against deception is to establish trust by convincing the negotiation partner deception will not be used. This is important because if deception is used to achieve a successful negotiation, future negotiation opportunities with the same party may be damaged or potentially destroyed. A third method is to ask questions and listen carefully to “be sure that the person providing information is in a position to know that information” (Hoch, et al., 2001, p. 197). Lastly, managing your reputation by developing relationships through being fair and honest sets up future negotiations for the long-term. In other words, taking a win at all costs approach may obtain immediate success, but will prove to be a detriment to longevity.
Reference:
Hoch, S., Kunreuther, H., & Gunther, R. (2001). Wharton on making decisions. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons Inc.
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