Based on the workbook exercise, post to your blog describing what surprises you discovered about yourself when completing the exercise. Cite examples where you feel you fell short.
Am I inspirational? How do I inspire people?
I’ve never viewed myself as inspirational. However, this chapter has taught me many people are too humble about their leadership and “we see ourselves as normal people, not as leaders whom others look to for direction and inspiration” (McKee, Boyatzis & Johnston, 2005, p. 15). Reflecting on some of my interactions with friends, family, and coworkers, I know see there were times when I may have been inspirational and provided direction. I have always had a knack for people coming to me and talking to me about very personal things. Sometimes, these are people I don’t necessarily know very well. I surmise it is just something about my personality that invites people to trust me with our conversations. There are also cases in which people have took positive actions as a result of our interaction. For example, a previous boss (who became one of my best friends) of mine was known to have a wild and carefree attitude both personally and professionally. At the time, I was taking two college courses while parenting two small children on top of the job I commuted to and from an hour each way. I believe he saw how much I was doing and it inspired him. He started his first college course at the age of 37 and continued his education for years.
Do I create an overall positive emotional tone that is characterized by hope? How?
This is an area I often struggle with and continually work on improving. I am aware that as a resonant leader, I need to pay particular attention to my own emotional state and how I affect people (McKee et al., 2005). However, there are times I let the pressure and stress of my work environment get the best of me. The result is me wondering out loud why something isn’t working, or why this person is acting this way, or whatever else the case may be. I know this “thinking out loud” can oftentimes be interpreted as complaining, which only creates a dissonant environment. This is not typically my norm, but I know it happens occasionally. For the most part, I really try to maintain a sense of positivity and hope since I know emotions, attitudes, and behavior are contagious.
Am I in touch with others? Do I really know what is in others’ hearts and on their minds? How do I show this?
I believe I am very in touch with others and know what is in their hearts and minds. I see this area as one of my greatest strengths. I have always had an exceptional ability to listen to what people are saying, interpret their message accurately, and provide solid feedback and/or guidance. I recognize this a strength after paying close attention to conversations in which I need feedback or guidance. Many people tend to just want to talk without really listening first. I lost count at the number of times people dominate a conversation. I interpret these conversations as having one-way communication and losing sight of why the conversation is occurring in the first place. I use these conversations as a way to improve the way I listen to people when talking. I genuinely care what they have to say and pay close attention to all the elements.
Do I regularly experience and demonstrate compassion? How?
I am an extremely compassionate person. I demonstrate this dimension throughout my daily interactions with those around me. I once viewed compassion as a detriment to leadership, but now am learning the value it provides. I had some experiences where being compassionate for others caused me problems. These experiences involved people taking advantage of me because they knew I would allow certain privileges based on their unfortunate circumstances. However, their circumstance was simply lies made up to take advantage of me and the situation. I know I shouldn’t allow some bad apples ruin it for those who are genuine. So, I continue to be compassionate to others, knowing there may, unfortunately, be some people who will lie just to get away with things. Regardless, I still give trust until it is broken and do not make people earn it.
Am I authentic and in tune with myself, others, and the environment? How can people see this in me?
I think of myself as an authentic person who is very self-aware. I realize that “good leaders must know their strengths, limitations, values, and principles” and “self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence” (McKee et al., 2005, p. 26). I maintain a ‘say what I do and do what I say’ attitude and people know this. Following through on what I say is essential to trusting and authentic relationship. I often find myself in a state of introspection and evaluation to make necessary adjustments and improvements. These changes occur for the greater good of myself and others. It really is a simple formula, or at least I think it is. If and when I tell someone I am going to do something, I do it. And be aware of how my attitudes and behavior affect others. If these affect others negatively, then change those attitudes and behavior.
Demonstrating authenticity, positivity, mindfulness, hope, and compassion will help me be a resonant leader. This approach can also be used to interrupt the Sacrifice Syndrome, and “enter into renewal and sustain resonance personally and with people around us” (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005, p. 71). This aligns with the idea that our actions and attitudes are contagious. Therefore, being mindful, hopeful, and compassionate will prompt others to do the same.
References:
Boyatzis, R. E., & McKee, A. (2005). Resonant leadership. Boston: Harvard Business School Press.
McKee, A., Boyatzis, R. E., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader: Develop your emotional intelligence, renew your relationships, sustain your effectiveness. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Pub.
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